As an ASD Call Specialist, when you talk about your job with someone outside the profession, you are most likely to hear two questions:
1) Is it really sad?
Usually, after you explain that funeral homes receive all types of calls—not just death calls—the inevitable second question follows:
2) What are some of the craziest funeral home calls you’ve handled?
The truth is, funeral home phone lines are often the first stop for people who are confused, emotional, curious, or dealing with situations they never imagined they’d face. That means our Call Specialists hear far more than First Calls. Over the years, we’ve fielded everything from unusual requests and bizarre questions to family drama that sounds like it belongs in a television series.
Recently, we asked our staff to flag their most unbelievable calls for our monthly Call of the Month feature. As the person responsible for reviewing those submissions, I can honestly say I’ve lost count of how many times my jaw has dropped listening to these conversations. After the overwhelming response to our previous Wildest Funeral Home Requests blog, we decided it was time to share another collection of unforgettable calls.
Before we dive in, one important note: over the years, we’ve gone back and forth on whether to share some of these stories. We never want to make light of a family’s loss or encourage copycat prank calls. Also, when we describe these calls as “crazy,” we’re talking about the unexpected situations—not the people behind them. We never want to poke fun at someone experiencing a mental health crisis or an incredibly difficult moment. But every once in a while, a call comes along that leaves even our most experienced Call Specialists thinking, “Well…that was definitely a new one.”
Here are 10 of the Craziest Funeral Home Calls ASD has recently handled
1. Requesting a shave from beyond the grave
ASD recently handled a funny call from a woman who was very concerned about her deceased husband’s facial hair. The caller came on the line and calmly explained that she had recently been in the funeral home to make arrangements for her husband, provided her phone number, then stated she had a request. That’s when things got weird.
“My husband is haunting me. He needs a shave.”
Always professional, our Call Specialist assured the caller she could relay the message to the funeral home. However, the caller was very adamant about providing more details and wanted the Call Specialist to understand she knew it was a crazy request.
“My husband’s a funny man but he’s serious about this. He wants to go to heaven. He’s in heaven, but he’s looking down on me and he is saying he needs a shave. I’m laughing to myself because I don’t believe he’s haunting me already. You can laugh. I’m his wife of 51 years and I’m laughing hysterically over here. I don’t believe I’m hearing this in my head. But he wants to make sure he has a shave before he is cremated.”
We guess even the afterlife has grooming standards!
2. There is no burying this grudge
Sometimes, callers decide to spill all of their tea to our ASD Call Specialists. And you know what? We’re totally here for it. In all seriousness, our ASD Call Specialists are trained to keep calls on track when needed, but every now and then, you get one that takes on a life of its own.
Recently, one of our Call Specialists handled a call from a woman who was not a fan of her brother and she wanted to make absolutely sure she would never be buried next to him. What should have been just a simple, straightforward call about wanting to sell a mausoleum became a 6-minute-long rant about all the reasons why this woman didn’t want her final resting place to be anywhere near her sibling. Or, as she eloquently stated, “He’s a little pissant, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be dead and living next to him.”
3. Don’t eat the chocolate chip cookies
One of our kind of gross but also hilarious recent calls came from a woman who had come into a funeral home with her sister to make arrangements for their mother—and left with more than just paperwork. During their visit, both were offered chocolate chip cookies, which they happily accepted… and later deeply regretted. The caller explained that not long after, both she and her sister ended up with diarrhea and felt it was important the funeral home be made aware. Our Call Specialist, keeping a perfectly straight tone, took down the complaint and passed it along. Of all the things you expect to follow a funeral arrangement meeting, that probably isn’t one of them.
4. The American Idol audition no one asked for
Recently, a caller reached out to ask if the funeral home was hiring singers for services. After our ASD Call Specialist offered to take a message, the caller decided the best way to prove his qualifications was with a live audition. Before she could politely wrap up the call, he launched into a full gospel song. When he finally finished, she thought the performance—and the conversation—was over. It wasn’t. He announced he had “just one more,” and treated her to a second selection: a Garth Brooks classic. Our Call Specialist graciously endured the surprise two-song concert from start to finish, proving once again that ASD operators don’t just answer calls—they occasionally become an audience of one.
5. When you think grandpa killed grandma
We’ve all probably watched a few too many true crime shows at this point—enough to start side-eyeing perfectly normal situations and wondering if there’s more going on beneath the surface. That mindset has a way of following people into real-life moments, including conversations with funeral homes. Recently, ASD handled a call that really brought that energy front and center. The caller shared, “I have suspicions to believe my grandma did not go on her own and I would really like an autopsy done and a toxicology done on her. I really want that done before she’s cremated and I don’t know how to do that. And I can’t go to my grandpa because I have suspicions of him.”
Whether Grandpa was secretly living a double life worthy of a true crime documentary or this was simply a case of watching one too many episodes of Dateline, we’ll never know—but we’re guessing this wasn’t the kind of cremation question the funeral home was expecting that day.
6. The wife who was ousted by the girlfriend
Family disputes are never easy, but one recent call we handled brought a situation that truly sounded like it belonged on a courtroom TV show. The caller explained that while she was still legally married to her husband when he passed away, she wasn’t notified of his death until after the funeral had already taken place. According to the caller, her husband’s girlfriend handled the funeral arrangements, identified herself as his wife, and completed the paperwork before the caller even knew he had died. Between a current wife, a girlfriend, and a disputed death certificate, this funeral home found itself caught in a real-life episode of As the Casket Turns.
7. Speaking of crazy family drama…
Just when you think you’ve heard every possible family disagreement, someone manages to raise the stakes—literally. We recently spoke with a caller who contacted the cemetery after discovering her brother had allegedly dug up their father’s cremated remains and moved them to a different location without telling the rest of the family. Understandably upset, she wanted to know if there was anything the staff could do to help or what her options were now that Dad had apparently been relocated. While funeral professionals are accustomed to helping families navigate conflict, it’s probably safe to say “my brother secretly moved Dad” isn’t a scenario that comes up in the average training manual.
8. Two skeleton stories for the price of one
You know it’s been a strange month when ASD fields two completely unrelated skeleton calls. In the first, a local pastor wanted to drop off a plastic skeleton for a community Halloween project but wisely decided that walking into a funeral home carrying a skeleton during an active service might send the wrong message. (His reassurance of “not a real one” was appreciated.) Then, as if our Call Specialists hadn’t talked about skeletons enough already, a school vice principal called seeking advice after discovering the skeleton in their science classroom actually contained human remains. We guess it’s true what they say—everyone has a skeleton in their closet. We just didn’t expect to get two in the same month.
9. The Blair Witch Cemetery Project
Every once in a while, a call comes in that sounds less like real life and more like the opening act of a supernatural thriller. One recent call was handled came from a woman who claimed she had discovered animal bones laid out in a ritualistic pattern inside a cemetery on two different occasions and feared something sinister was taking place. While we’ll probably never know how those bones got there, one thing is certain—the funeral home answered the phone that day expecting questions about memorial services, not what sounded suspiciously like the plot of The Blair Witch Project.
10. Turning lemons into…leg art?
Funeral homes receive plenty of unusual questions, but this one was certainly in a category of its own. A caller explained that she was preparing for a below-the-knee amputation and wanted to know if it was possible to have her amputated bones returned to her. Why? She wasn’t planning anything creepy—she was an artist hoping to transform a difficult chapter of her life into a meaningful art project. While most people ask funeral directors about memorial keepsakes, this was probably the first request for a DIY keepsake made from a caller herself.
What are some of the craziest funeral home calls you have handled throughout your career? Share in the comments below!
Related Reading
The Wildest Funeral Home Requests ASD Has Received
ASD Call Specialists Reveal 24 of the Most Shocking Calls Answered for Funeral Homes
The 10 Most Common Types of Funeral Home Callers
